timid: 1. lacking in courage or self-confidence. 2. lacking in boldness or determination. (from Merriam-Webster.com)
i’ve always been timid.
growing up, i never raised my hand in class. i never initiated conversations with my peers, and spent most of my time alone.
when i got older and went to college, it was worse. so many of my grades depended on class participation. i preferred large, impersonal lectures to smaller seminars, and unfortunately, my classes tended to be the latter. i would sit looking down, watching the skin on my chest pulse visibly as my heart hammered away. it was so humiliating each time i opened my mouth, hearing my “um”s tumble from my awkward lips.
as i’ve gotten older, i’ve learned to embrace the shy, timid, introverted part of me. i know it’s a part of who i am, and despite the hundreds of “don’t be shy!“s i’ve had pushed my way throughout my life, i know it’s a part of my Self that probably won’t change. i’ve embraced my shyness as a part of me that grew from a need to protect myself in situations that weren’t safe. situations where i needed to become smaller, invisible, unnoticeable, for my own safety.
i’ve started to question why the blame and pressure to change is so often placed on us shy people. being shy and timid is portrayed as such a negative trait. we are so often told that we need to change to fit into and “succeed” in a loud, competitive world, without calling into question whether that world is actually a safe space for everyone living in it.
so, where does Harry Woodgate’s picture book Timid fit into this? when i first took a peek at the synopsis of this book, i was very cautious. would Timmy’s anxiety, shyness, their timidness (which manifests itself as a roaring lion that scares Timmy and keeps them from doing something they love – acting – on a larger scale) be seen as something needed to be “fixed” or “overcome” in order for them to be accepted as a whole, full person? would the underlying message for children be to “get over” their shyness in order to be successful?
thankfully – no. with the help of their classmate Nia, Timmy explores some strategies for managing their shyness.
the first important point Harry Woodgate makes in Timid is that shyness looks different for everyone. Nia appeared so confident to Timmy, when in reality, she was just as scared as they were, just for different reasons.
secondly, Nia helps Timmy tame their lion – not necessarily making it go away. Timmy isn’t being made to change who they are; rather they are offered strategies to help them navigate a specific task: performing in a play. the strategies offered come from different people in their community, showing that different people have different strategies that work for them in particular situations. in fact, Timmy learns that the goal is not actually to make the lion go away. Timmy learns to embrace it (literally – among the many gorgeous, colorful illustrations in the book is one that shows the two in an embrace) and make it work with them, in a way where one is not dominating the other. the lion, the fear is not controlling Timmy, and Timmy isn’t being asked to get rid of a part of themself.
and that’s all i’ve ever wanted. no more “stop being shy”s. I am shy. I am timid. that’s who I am. so how can you meet me where I’m at?
becoming 
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